Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5
In the long return line at Lowe’s this past Saturday, I had the misfortune of being 2 customers behind a lady returning a lawn mower that her children had given her for mother’s day a week early. Sure…a lawn mower means work…a lawn mower is practical…but a lawn mower is a very nice, expensive gesture! While waiting in the return line, she was sure to let everyone know how horrible her kids were for getting her this gift and how dare they not just give her money if they couldn’t do better than this. I feel like everyone in line was rolling their eyes due to her ungratefulness and I was certainly irritated.
For the normal person, the surface view was her lack of gratefulness towards her kid’s material gift. For me, a person who would sacrifice anything to be a mom, this lack of ungratefulness went much deeper. My heart hurt. Being a mom is never supposed to be about what your kids can do for you and a mother’s love for their children was never supposed to be a sliding scale based on how much you like a material gift. It was at that moment that I caught my mind questioning how someone like this could be blessed with children who would put the time, money and thought into a mother’s day and not appreciate it, while here I am standing here ready to sacrifice anything I have for a child and suffering the long wait for adoption. My only solace is in knowing that God has a plan for my life and there are life lesson’s that I’m learning as I wait to become a mom.
I know I am blessed to have a mom that set the example of what motherhood should look like. My brother and I were 15 years apart. My parents always wanted more children, but it didn’t work out…until they got a surprise later in life. My dad passed away when I was a teenager and my mom sacrificed, worked hard to make ends meet. I never wanted for the first thing. I had way more than I needed. At my dad’s last request, she made sure I stayed in church and in school. I graduated with no student debt.
I’m 99% sure that all of my mother’s day gifts to her through the years were not at the top of her wishlist. I’m also 99% sure that she didn’t take anything back and bad mouth me to everyone in earshot of a crowded return line. This is my mom leading by example, being thankful for the heart behind the gift and honoring the sacrifice. I can only pray that I can lead by this example to my future child, but I promise I will never be disappointed in a mother’s day gift and want others to think less of them simply because of material possessions. I know my love for them and their heart will far outweigh my dislike of a “lawn mower” type gift.
I guess the raw emotions got to me while I was standing in that line. Mother’s day, like so many holidays, are meant to be celebratory, but when hearts hurt because of lack or loss, it can be anything but a celebration.
For the birthmom of my future child, I want to be sensitive to the fact that your mind may wonder about your baby on this day. The blessing of a child calling me mom is the only mother’s day present that I will ever want or need. You chose to give this child life. You chose to give me this child to love. Anything else is simply frosting. Your baby and I will forever think of you with love and kindness for your gift and sacrifice on this Mother’s Day holiday.