Better Together

Life’s journey was never meant to be walked solo. As the proverb says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”. Being on the adoption journey as a single parent, I need to be as sharp as I can be physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I’ve been so blessed to be surrounded by a great support system through family, church and friends. Each person that pops into my mind has lifted me and my future child up in a specific way that would prepare us for the future.

Physically, I’ve struggled with female issues for years that drained me (no pun intended). Trusting doctors to know the right steps to improve my health was a huge decision as their plan was a hysterectomy which removed any possibility of pregnancy for a woman who desperately wanted to become a mom. Mentally, my career is very analytical as are my hobbies so critical thinking in these settings keeps my mind sharp. Emotionally, I have friends who I can share anything with and they will try to guide me to clarity and peace. Spiritually, I have the best church family around that will come alongside me and support me in following God’s perfect plan for my life.

Physically, my body can not make my dreams of being a mom come true. Mentally, I know what I want, started the adoption journey and have prepared for life with a child in everyway I can. Emotionally, wanting something with all your heart so badly is draining, but I’m always looking for bits of encouragement to keep me moving forward. Spiritually, I have cried out to God many times asking why it seems like my life’s journey with relationships and to parenthood has been so full of struggles. In today’s lingo, I think the best way to describe this is ugly-cries.

Several weeks ago, I honestly had the most ugly-crying conversation with God. I have prayed without ceasing for years and years for a healthy relationship to grow and create a family. I 100% trust God and His plan for my life, but I just don’t understand the process because no one aside from Him knows the end result. While I was trying to recover from the intensity of this ugly-cry conversation, I saw this meme on social media and it brought me comfort and the energy to keep moving forward.

The very next day, God done something incredibly special and changed my life in a very indisputable way. In a single second, he placed a person right in my path that has quickly become my most trusted confidant and biggest source of inspiration. This person sharpens me more than I realized I needed to be sharpened by encouraging me to get out of my comfort zone physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Over the past week, my nerves had obviously been frayed as I knew I was heading into a meeting with a new adoption coordinator and needed to fully express my hearts desire to be a mom. The meeting conversation could be led in multiple directions. My brain was on overload as I obsessed over what I specifically wanted to say. The night before the meeting, I told this person that I was nervous and wanted to talk and the immediate response was “On my way”!

Over the next 24 hours, this person was able to talk through each detail and make me realize how I naturally compartmentalized every part of this journey. If you noticed up until now, I’ve been very good at compartmentalizing. I’ve put physical health in one box and emotional health in another and so forth. This person so wisely brought it to my attention the amount of physical trauma stemming from the hysterectomy was tied in to the emotions of wanting a child and the mental state of trying to make this happen. Combining those perspectives, this person also tied in the spiritual encouragement of trusting in God’s ultimate timing and plan. He further encouraged me not to try and rush God’s timing and beautifully pointed out that even though the adoption journey was a big deal, stressing about things like a simple meeting would not change God’s plan or the outcome.

The meeting went well and afterwards, the person that God put in my path just a few weeks before said that he KNEW way before I did that this meeting would go fine, that I’d pray about it and my heart would know to do the right thing.

To this person, I just want to say thank you for being so specially you! And to God, I want to say thank you for putting this person in my life to be just what I needed and for using him to sharpen me into a person that my future child deserves as a parent. Finally, to the expectant mom searching for the right person to trust with their child’s life, please know that I am not perfect – I try to learn and grow everyday – but I will pray without ceasing for this child to have the support in their life that God has placed in mine.

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